I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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