Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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