Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
