her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
