My hand turned me down
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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