You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
