How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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