Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
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