I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
