You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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