Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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