she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
