He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
