sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
