is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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