hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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