WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
