if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
