I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
