So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
