Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
