I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
