Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
