direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Randomize