so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He shit in the fireplace
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
