Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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