Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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