I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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