Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
