LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize