covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
