We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Holy sore nipples Batman
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
