I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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