Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
she looked like the before picture.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
