i think my mom watched the whole time
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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