The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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