I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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