I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
