i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
