East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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