why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
All I want is dick and wine.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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