his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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