Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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