i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Vodka?
Forever.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
