you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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