Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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