hotel room ftw
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize