I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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