Im at strip club and am horny
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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