I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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