What a fucking waste of an outfit
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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