it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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