Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
