farters have to be the big spoon...
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
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