Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
