So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
