super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
