Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
The uberlube is also flammable
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
