no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
