You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Randomize
