I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize