I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
how drunk are you?
Several
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
