Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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