Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
