i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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